27. My list for 29 (and honest admissions of #doingtoomuch)
My #1 goal, honestly: to chill TF out
Last week, I had the plans for an inspiring, deep, reflective post all about my 28th year of life… and then I proceeded to have the most exhausting, full-to-the-brim week of work that I’ve had in a hot minute and didn’t even write a newsletter at all. (#reallifethingsyaknow)
In all honesty, my penchant for general inspiration here at the moment is NONEXISTENT. And, (for the 50th time), here’s what I’ve noticed: when I get busy with work, like I have been the last several weeks, I tend to let absolutely everything else swing by the wayside.
My sleep.
My workouts.
My email and text message inbox.
This newsletter.
Reading. TV.
Doing anything *extra* that doesn’t involve utter disassociation.
You name it, I’ve probably closed my eyes and pretended it didn’t exist in these last few weeks.
Now, you may be reading this and thinking.,.. Sus, haven’t you said in this newsletter a million times that you’re prioritizing rest and slowness and care of yourself from now on?
And, why, yes, I have. Yes I have. So, here’s my humble little recognition of the fact that being insanely busy and unable to regulate my own nervous system ‘tis NOT the way. I’m tryin’ here — and leaning heavily, heavily, heavily into my go-to routines and practices that I know make me feel better, even when life is busy: sleeping and waking early, exercising (classes have not been my vibe the last few weeks — so this week, it’s going to be walking), and putting a stop time on my work.
So, if you’re here with me — a recovering perfectionist and can’t-slow-down gal — I promise, promise, promise that you’re not alone. (Obviously. I’m here!)
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s dive into today’s newsletter: the things I want to do at 29. (Disclaimer: I originally intended for this to be 29 things I want to do at 29 but, as you read above, that was a naur right now.)
I turned 29 last week, and I have always, always been SUCH a fan of birthdays. I love my birthday (honestly, haha), but I also love *any* birthday and any chance for celebrating a new year — and I think they’re so much more special than January 1st. I’m also painfully self-aware and reflective — in case you haven’t noticed in this newsletter, AKA my digital diary — and love looking back at my years each year. However, recently I’ve seen people do an “X things I want to do in year X” and I LOVE it.
This year, I want to do things in a few different categories:
Things that make me feel more uncomfortable: AKA, things that challenge me in ways that I don’t often challenge myself with.
Things I’m not good at: As that same recovering perfectionist at heart, I want to do more in year 29 that I’m not naturally good at… and there are a LOT of things like that, lemme tell ya.
Things that make me more of myself: The last several years of my life have been *fundamental* in me learning more about myself and who I am… and I want to keep that going.
So, here’s a sneak peek of the things I’m hoping to do/explore/experience in year 29:
More dinners and movies alone
Honestly, I love spending time alone (I blame the fact that I have a never-ending conversation going on in my head). However, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to dinner myself… and I don’t mean Chick-fil-A, I mean DINNER. An experience. This year, I want to get more comfortable with being alone in public outside of just going to the movies… so we’re trying for some *legit* Susie/Susie date nights this year.
(Note: maybe some Susie/Man date nights too…but I refuse to promise that, honestly.)
Take a pottery class
I know it might sound silly, but I have wanted to take a pottery class for YEARS — and this is the year.
See, I am not particularly artistic. Actually, I am not artistic… at all. But, I was the luckiest granddaughter in the world to have the most creative, artistic Grammy of all time — and lately, I’ve been thinking of her *and* how to connect to that (slightly non-existent) part of myself that I know she passed along to all of us. Enter: pottery classes.
There are a ton of cute little places to take them here (any recommendations are also welcome!), and I just really want to create something cute and special with my own hands. I’m also trying to lean into the spirit of doing things I’m NOT good at (newsletter topic coming soon!), and this fits.
Go to more sporting events! (Specifically: an F1 race and another Cowboys game)
The last year of my life has surfaced a love for sports in me that I did NOT know existed… and as someone who was raised by a football coach (and continually bored by sports my entire life, as pictured below), I didn’t think I would ever care to go to sporting events. Ever. But something happened within me (I think that thing is called Netflix documentaries), and I am HERE for a professional football game, guys. I am so here for it.
Want to know what I am *not* here for? The fact that parking at Cowboys Stadium is $100 and a beer is $20. So, we’ll see.
However, as you guys already know, F1 is one of my personality traits… and ever since I have become absolutely *obsessed* with those sexy little cars (and drivers), I have wanted to go to a race. Luckily, this one can already get CROSSED OFF THE LIST… because my friend Shelby and I bought tickets to the Austin race in October (after I had already been noodling on my 29 things during 29 list). I could cry at how excited I am, and I cannot wait to be *so* annoying.
(Psst… another thing on my list: going KARTING, inspired by my favorite F1 drivers! I am *so* doing this this summer, and hoping that what happened to me the last time I was in a GoKart — AKA, being rammed into the wall by a 6-year-old demon child — doesn’t happen again.)
Dial in on my personal style
If there is one thing I have wanted to dial in on in years past but haven’t, it’s understanding my personal style. I have always been a little all over the place in the way I dress — I spent a lot of college (and adulthood) overweight, which affected my confidence in clothes; I spent 3 years as a teacher, which totally impacted my closet; I spent a while trying to follow every trend… you name it.
In the last year or so, I’ve really started to think a little more about the intention behind how I want to dress. What do I want to feel like? What are the silhouettes I’m most attracted to? How do I slowly curate a wardrobe I genuinely, genuinely love?
This year, I’d like to take that thinking and turn it into a little more action. So far, that’s looked like:
Starting a screenshot folder on my phone of outfits I love, inspired by people whose style I feel I really connect with
Putting a kibosh on most clothing purchases until I hone in on what I actually like
Ignoring trendy clothing pieces just because they’re trendy
Saying “no ma’am” to buying things like crewnecks and loungewear instead of *real clothes (let’s all ignore the fact that I bought a new Anine Bing sweatshirt this weekend… but besides that. Ugh, whoops LOL.)
Now, is that a lot? No, but it’s a start — and one that I really do want to focus on intentionally this year.
Run a half marathon
As I’ve talked about on here before, running is THE most difficult physical and mental activity for me. Hands down. But, if beginning to love exercise in the last few years means anything, it’s that I know that doing the HARD things always, always makes me feel good — and in my last few weeks of dipping my toes into the running waters, I’ve realized how good running actually DOES make me feel.
(Things it does not make feel good: my left knee.)
So, this year, I *WILL* run a half marathon — specifically, the Dallas Half in December. My 8th grade self would never believe it, and that makes me want to do it even more.
Get more self confident
To say that self-confidence has been a journey for me is an understatement… and one I’m almost certain that 99% of my friends here, reading this newsletter, understand as well. While I don’t always know how to be more self confident, it is a focus for me this year the very best way that I can. As you know, I’ll write updates here as I go — but for now, I want to become more self confident by DOING those things I wrote about above. By challenging myself. By doing things I’m not good at. By showing up. Stay tuned.
Regulate my damn nervous system
It’s absolutely zero secret or surprise to anyone who has read this newsletter (or spent time with me IRL) that my nervous system gets absolutely wildly out of whack because of my inability to slow the hell down… and I am fully, fully aware that this is *completely* my fault. A solid 50% of my conversations with my therapist are about this, and it’s something that I alternate between being REALLY good at prioritizing and REALLY bad at prioritizing.
The thing is, I don’t WANT to be a constantly frazzled shell of myself (and I think those people are ANNOYING, even though I am one half the time). I don’t know what the answer is, I really don’t — but this is something I want to prioritize this year… and something I want to prioritize *well.*
—
I can’t wait for 29, y’all. I really, really can’t. I’m SO EXCITED for all that’s to come, and I can’t wait to overshare every bit of it.
In the last few weeks, my brain has worked exactly long enough to A) work and B) do my daily Connections and Mini Crossword. However, I just started The Women by Kristin Hannah last night, and, wow. Just… wow. I can already tell, in true KH fashion, that it’s going to be instantly memorable.
I have had the same makeup brushes for YEARS and years and years, and have fully ignored every recommendation for a new one. However, recently my foundation brush has been streaky, impossible to blend (even with cleaning), and shedding… so I took the leap and bought a new foundation brush from Sephora.
When I tell y’all that I have NEVER experienced an application process that felt *so* smooth or gotten SO many compliments on my makeup, I am so serious. This is the foundation brush I bought, and it’s worth every stinkin’ penny.
Happy (belated) birthday!